DualSided Nightmare
by EpitomeOfRejection
Summary: Imagine a world without Conan. Difficult, isn't it? Well, in this story, you get to see into the minds of Kogoro/Richard and Ran/Rachel as they try to live their lives...with a formerly crucial factor missing. Not just missing...DEAD.
1. When You

**Chapter 1 – When You're Gone**

**[When you're gone**

**The pieces of my heart are missing you **

**When you're gone**

**The face I came to know is missing too**

**When you're gone, the words I need to hear**

**To always get me through the day**

**And make it okay**

**I miss you**

_It's been a week since Conan died._ Rachel mused as she stared out at the expansive lake. She had gone out to "go shopping", or at least, that's what she told her father. She was the only one that knew that she had actually gone to the park to mull things over. About a month ago, Jimmy had been calling every day, just to check up on her. What bothered Rachel was that Jimmy's suddenly stopped calling her. There was no apparent reason, and he hadn't mentioned any new case that he would be working on for a long time.

All this happened after Conan's…accident. Yes, his "accident". Rachel had to keep telling herself that it was all an accident. It wasn't her fault that he had decided to jump in the car with them. It wasn't her fault that the road was slippery, it wasn't her fault that her father had been trying to get his hair out of his eyes, and it damn sure wasn't her fault that the other driver wasn't looking where he was going. But it was her fault that Conan was crushed instead of her. After the "accident", Rachel woke up in a hospital bed, her father and a doctor leaning over her.

Rachel snapped out of her stupor and realized that tears were streaming down her face. She looked at her watch and realized that Serena would be worried if she didn't go back. For the past week, Rachel had been staying at Serena's house, confiding in her best friend, who had been unusually quiet. For once, she didn't talk. She didn't interrupt. She just sat there, staring at Rachel and listening intently.

Finally, Rachel decided to go back to her own house. She didn't want to inconvenience Serena's family any longer. They had all told her that she wasn't a problem, that they loved having her over, but Rachel decided that it would be best if she returned home. Besides, she wanted to check up on her dad and see how he was holding up after the incident.


	2. Lonely Day

**Chapter 2 – Lonely Day**

_[Such a lonely day  
And it's mine  
The most loneliest day of my life  
And if you go,  
I wanna go with you  
And if you die,  
I wanna die with you  
Take your hand and walk away_

"_**Rachel?"**__ her father prompted, his eyes wet from crying, his face lined with concern. _

"_**D-dad…?"**__ she said, her voice raspy from lack of use. _

"_**Yeah, it's me,"**__ Richard sighed in relief and put one hand to his face, trying to wipe away the tears in a discreet manner. _

_The doctor interrupted their rare emotional moment. __**"Yes, well…Miss Moore, it seems that you got away with just a sprained ankle. It should heal in about a week or so, maybe less." **_

_It was Rachel's turn to sigh. "__**Good. For a second, I thought I…"**__ Her face paled, her eyes opening wide. __**"Wait, doctor,"**__ she said just as the doctor had his hand on the doorknob. __**"You said that **_**I**_** got away with just a sprained ankle. You didn't mention Conan. Is he okay?"**_

_Both the doctor and Richard looked away, nervous expressions on their faces. Rachel quickly turned her head towards each of them in turn, her hair flipping with the force. When neither would answer her, Rachel stood up and walked to Richard. She grabbed the collar of his jacket and pushed him roughly up against the wall. Richard grunted, the impact hurting a small injury he had received in the accident. Standing up made Rachel's ankle hurt, but it wasn't enough to make her complain. _

"_**Dad,"**__ she said softly. __**"Please…tell me where he is. Tell me what happened to him. Please, Dad, I have to know."**_

_Richard bit his lip, the slightest bit of a tear forming on his right eye. _

"_**Dad!"**__ Rachel yelled, jerking her father back and forth, slamming him into the wall. It wasn't hard enough to seriously hurt him, but it got her point across.__** "Tell me right now!"**_

_Richard closed his eyes and a solitary tear slipped down his pale cheek. _

"_**What's wrong with him?"**__ she demanded, screaming, almost hysterical. _**"What's wrong with Conan?!"**

_Richard finally turned towards her, his eyes closed. Slowly, he opened them and aligned his line of sight with Rachel's, whose was slightly lower than his. Her mahogany eyes met with his own steel blue-gray, and she knew immediately what everyone was too afraid to say. She let go of his jacket and took a step back, her head and thoughts whirling. Rachel turned to the doctor, then back to her dad in two swift movements. __**"Please,"**__ she pleaded, her voice cracking. __**"Please tell me it's not true. It's not true…" **__She stood, her eyes open and twitching, shaking her head like a child without his blanket. _

_Richard crossed the room to her and embraced her, their mouths at each other's ears. Softly, he whispered into hers. _

"_**I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." **_


	3. Nothing

**Chapter 3 – Nothing**

_[I'm there smiling and warm_

_I missed you so  
And can't wait to show you how I feel  
But you feel nothing at all  
You feel nothing at all  
There we were  
Never strangers before  
There was a light that shined on us  
But now there's nothing at all_

Rachel walked into the room, her blood running cold as she looked at her father's face. His forehead was propped up on his open hand, his unusually unkempt hair falling over his shadowed blue eyes. Dark bags rested underneath them, a sure sign that he hadn't been sleeping. His eyelids drooped over his glassy eyes, making it look like he was half-dead or possessed. Large red tints were plastered on his cheeks, and his breathing was ragged.

Concerned, Rachel went over to him and put one hand on his shoulder.** "Dad?"**

He looked up at her slowly; his glassy eyes didn't seem to get a definite fix on her face. **"Yes?" **he said quietly, almost in a whisper.

"**You don't look so good."**

"**Huh. Really, now…"** he murmured, running pale fingers through his hair. **"I'm fine."**

"**No, seriously, Dad…you look awful**," Rachel said, leaning down and looking in his eyes. They seemed hollow, as if there wasn't a man inside anymore. No…it was more like there was no trace of an inhabitant ever having been inside.

Rachel leaned her head up against his, feeling for signs of fever. A scalding hot sensation made her jerk her head back and gasp. The warm feeling remained on her skin afterwards. **"Dad…"** she began, but she was broken off by Richard suddenly standing, his head down.

"**I…don't wanna hear it,"** he said through pained breaths. **"I'm not…sick. I'm fine."**

He grabbed his jacket and started for the door. He hadn't even gotten his hand on the doorknob when he stumbled. Rachel watched in horror as he swayed, put one hand to his head, and fell to the floor. She raced over to him, dropped to her knees, and turned his head towards her. His eyes were closed, and his breaths came in quick, strained intervals.

"**Dad?"** she cried. **"Dad!"**

But, no matter how many times she called his name, her father wouldn't – or couldn't – respond. Rachel began to cry, and held her father's body to her lap, just as he had done for her when she was a child.


	4. Remember When It Rained The Ghost of You

**Chapter 4 – Remember When It Rained The Ghost of You**

_[Tears of hope run down my skin,_

_Tears for you that will not dry_

_They magnify the one within_

_And let the outside slowly die_

_Remember when it rained_

_I felt the ground and looked up high_

_And called your name..._

_Remember when it rained..._

_In the water, I remain_

_Richard staggered out of the car, his hand holding a cut above his eyebrow. His vision swam with all the lights of stopped cars, and his ears were ringing. Despite the sounds of people yelling and talking rapidly on cell phones – no doubt calling 911 – he couldn't hear them. Their mouths were moving, but no sound seemed to come out. The world was moving in slow motion, like a Matrix film. But Richard knew this wasn't a film. This was real._

_He slowly walked back to his car and flung open the left-side back door. The man driving the other car had completely smashed the right side of Richard's. Where the man was now, Richard didn't know, nor did he care. All that mattered was the kids. _

_He pulled the unconscious Rachel out of the left side, and laid her on the ground. Other than a swollen ankle, she looked fine. He walked over to the right side of the car and surveyed the damage. _

_Finally, after a lot of groaning and pulling, Richard wrenched the right-side door off its mechanical hinges. What he saw looked like something out a Friday the 13__th__ movie. _

"_**Oh, my God,"**__ Richard moaned, covering his mouth with his hand, trying not to vomit. __**"Oh God, oh God…oh, dear God, please…please, noooo…"**_

_Half of Conan's face was burned away by a small explosion that occurred once the two cars hit. His small body was mangled and broken, with blood pouring out of numerous deep cuts all over his body. One eye was still open, staring up at Richard. It seemed to stare into his own eyes, into his very soul, his very being. Every bone in Richard's body seemed to go cold as he used his fingers to close Conan's remaining eye. As he looked back down at the child's face, a sob choked up in his throat, and his stomach churned. _

_The small boy's face looked peaceful…satisfied, almost. For once, the kid didn't look like the annoying brat that Richard sometimes considered him. For once, he didn't look as if he was deducing something that no one else seemed to get. For once, he just looked like a regular kid, innocent and pure. _

_Richard began to cry. He didn't care who was watching or what they thought about a man kneeling in the street, cradling a child in his arms. Richard lifted Conan to his chest so that the child's head was resting beneath his chin. He lifted his head to the sky, rain pelting his face, mixing with his tears. He closed his eyes and screamed._

"_**COOOOOOONAAAAAAN!" **_

_[Ever get the feeling that you're never_

_All alone, and I remember now_

_At the top of my lungs, in my arms, he died_

_He died…_


	5. Stricken

**Chapter 5 - Stricken**

_[You'll never know how your face has haunted me_

_My very soul has to bleed this time_

_Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses_

_Leaving me breathless, the reason I know_

_That I am stricken and can't let you go_

_When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know_

_That I am crippled by all that you've done_

_Into the abyss will I run_

When Richard awoke, his vision was hazy and his head was pounding with the rhythm of his own heartbeat. He slowly lifted his head and took in his surroundings: his bedroom, on the floor, a cot underneath him. He sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back. He put the back of his hand on his burning forehead, and the slight coldness of his hand cooled down his head for a brief moment. Sweat was all over his body, even though the temperature in the apartment had apparently been lowered to 45-50 degrees.

Rachel walked into the room and almost dropped her basket. **"Dad!"** she exclaimed, running towards him and falling to her knees. **"How are you?"**

"**P-pretty freakin' bad,"** he admitted.

She nodded and reached into her basket. When she retracted her hand, she was holding a thermometer, which she promptly put into his mouth.

"**Wat are joo doing?"** Richard asked, the thermometer impairing his speech. **"Ith juth a thmall cold." **

The two waited for a few seconds, and the silence was somewhat awkward. Once the thermometer beeped, Rachel took the instrument out of Richard's mouth. She gasped once his body temperature was displayed on the glowing blue screen.

"**Dad, your temperature is 101 degrees! This isn't a "small cold"!" **

She adjusted her position so that she was sitting on the side of her leg, her other leg firmly on top of the other. Her arm propped her up. Her expression was one of sadness and hurt. **"What's wrong with you, Dad? How did you get like this?"**

Richard swallowed and looked away. **"The accident…no, Conan's **_**death**_** has been very hard on me. It's been hard on us both, and I know that. I wake up screaming, remembering his face, his disfigured body…"** He lowered his head, trembling. **"Eventually, I got so scared to sleep that I just…stopped. I couldn't stop thinking about what that poor kid looked like."**

"**I know, but why are you so sad? It's not like it was your – "**

Richard sat up abruptly and banged his hand on the ground, the other one crunched into a fist and resting on his forehead. **"Yes it was! It was my fault!"** he yelled. **"I was driving the damn thing! I got him killed, Rachel! Not you, not the other driver, me! If I had been paying more attention…"** His voice broke, and the tears started falling.


End file.
